Writing letters to the parts of ourselves we wish to release and cultivate deeper relationships with is a powerful practice. Utilizing the art of expressive writing in this way helps to piece together areas in our mind, leaving space for resolutions to more naturally appear.
There is no right or wrong way to do this except for a willingness to simply begin. However, it always helps to have a little guidance along the way, so let’s dive in!
How to Begin the Writing Process:
Sometimes even putting pen to paper or the idea of typing out our thoughts can leave us avoiding this practice altogether. It is important to remember that confronting pain, people, and emotions in our lives may never feel easy at first but is often necessary in order for us to move forward.
Let’s explore some helpful tips to keep in mind when getting started:
1. Choose your preferred style of writing
There are benefits to both written and typed letters. Using a combination of both may help you to get a feel for what feels most natural to you. It is important to choose a method that allows for the most ease in the releasing process.
2. Create a quiet, safe space for expression
If available, it is best to do this exercise in a location that allows you to feel safe to fully express yourself. Writing in this way may bring up deep emotions that are asking to be released both verbal and nonverbally. Limiting distractions is preferred but writing your letter is still possible and effective in a busier environment.
3. Determine the type of letter that feels most fitting
The type of letter you write depends upon your current emotional state as well as your overall objective. Consider asking yourself some of the following questions before you begin:
- Tune into your body; how do you feel in this moment? Angry, sad, resentful, shameful, guilty, regretful, annoyed, thankful, happy, content, etc.
- If there is any pain, where is it most often or intensely felt? Your heart, legs, lungs, head, stomach, throat, etc.
- In what ways is your pain making you feel or preventing you from feeling or having? “My pain makes me feel hopeless and prevents me from leading a fulfilling life,” etc.
- What is an area of your life that you would like to improve or let go of? Grudges, toxic relationships, habitual patterns, unhealthy communication, bringing in more love and play, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, etc.
4. Address Who or What You Will be Writing to
After considering the previous questions, who or what in your life feels most relevant in relation to your current state of emotion and overall intent?
Some examples may include: a loved one, an acquaintance, a past emotion or inner child, a current emotion, a future emotion or desired state/goal, a sacred place or item, etc.
For inspiration, consider reading How to Feel More Connected in Your Everyday Life.
Some Helpful Tips:
So many of us grew up only writing when it was absolutely required of us. This often brings up a sense of obligation or perception of performance when writing as a means of personal healing and development.
Keeping in mind some of these helpful tips will be key to cultivating an effective approach in your relationship to writing:
- No one ever needs to read or see your letter; this practice can remain only for you
- The best way to release through writing is to think less; write through what you feel
- Filters are not necessary; this is a time to say everything you have wanted to or felt that you never could
- The healing takes place in simply putting your truth on paper; that is all it takes (read your letter out loud if it feels right)
- Write for the process, not for the end result; resolutions will arrive exactly when they are meant to
Write for as long or as little as feels right in completing the release. A good sign you have reached the end is that you have no more words that feel natural or some of your previous emotions have changed from their original state into something new. Pause and notice what comes up for you during and after this process, take some time for reflection and integration.
An Important Reminder:
While this specific practice is dedicated to releasing emotional pain, writing letters to release or bring in positive emotions is just as powerful and important. Feeling into relaxation and deeper levels of joy and peace are often the aftermath of first clearing emotional ‘blocks’ such as pain.
For many of us, the most fearful feelings to embrace are the ones of love and complete self acceptance.
Therefore, it can be helpful to start writing letters to the areas of our lives that we feel are keeping us from experiencing more positive, desired states. This allows for greater clearing and healing to occur in making space for the remembrance that our most natural state is one of complete harmony.
Writing letters to a combination of areas in our life, including those that we are most grateful for, is beneficial. One of the best ways to bring in more of what we truly wish for is to put it out into the world. If that means writing it in the form of a letter to the universe, an emotion, or a loved one..what do you have to lose?
