What exactly is self mastery and why does it matter? One of the best ways I have found to help define my own understanding of what self mastery means was to first discover what it is not. Self Mastery is not an end result, a destination or goal to be achieved. Nor is it something that requires us to have all the answers or even a resolution to our current circumstances.
Over time, I have found that the mastery of one’s self resides in the clarity, confidence, & contentment throughout any process.
While there is no right or wrong way to define self mastery, clarification of its meaning often makes itself known throughout the experience of learning. It is inevitable that life will teach us many things. However, our willingness to be an active participant is up to us.
Who is the Self?
In many Spiritual, Buddhist, and even Religious traditions there is a widely known practice of letting go of your ego or the self. However, without first establishing a “sense of self” in this process of discovering yourself as something greater, you will continue to remain in a place of victimhood mentality. Your personal values will be as unpredictable as the changing seasons of weather because it is likely that you do not know what is most important to you.
When placing your personal experience in the hands of people and worldly circumstance, you are not rooted in a strong ‘sense of self’. Establishing the foundation for uncovering who you are is a conscious act of ongoing creation, learning and unlearning. It is not an attachment to firmly held beliefs about who you have always been or are perceived to be.
Core Values Vs. Beliefs
It is important to understand the very basic differences between establishing your core values and maintaining firmly held beliefs. Beliefs include individual propositions and attitudes that claim something to be true based upon past experiences. Core Values are individual standards that are established upon conscious choice and observation of what is true in present reality.
While your core values will take into consideration what you have learned from the past, they continue to remain open to change. This leaves necessary room for personal growth and the limitless possibilities that exist. When we deny any part of our present experience because it does not align with what we believe to be true, we are missing the truth of what is already here.
Establishing Your Core Values
Beginning the process of establishing your core values begins with understanding what is most important to you and is also true. While what remains true for you may not be true for someone else at this time, there is always a way to expand our viewpoint to include another’s.
Universal truth is all-inclusive & allows no answer to be a wrong one.
This brings us to a place where we are able to recognize how even the most fundamental truths in our lives are still a choice we have made. An effective way to start inquiring about our core values is to ponder the question, “What do I observe to be successfully working in my own life and the life of other’s?”
We may never have all of the scientific facts and answers for every question. However, if we are able to observe the consistent effectiveness of something over an extended period of time, we know to be true that it is working.
Finding Your Area of Mastery
Now that we know the basic understanding of what developing a sense of self and our core values looks like in terms of their importance, we are able to discuss how to find Mastery. The stages involved in mastering anything are developed by first grasping the more specific areas of our life that will lead us to our greatest selves; wholeness, fulfillment, peace, etc.
One of the most efficient ways to narrow our focus is to decide:
- What do I desire most or least in my life at this time?
- What seems to be holding me back from what I desire the most?
- If I could dedicate my life to doing or being anything, what would that look like?
- What are some of my “natural-born” abilities? (often areas that are overlooked due to how effortlessly they feel to us)
For some of us, answering the question of what we want the least is the best way to uncover what we truly wish for the most. For example, if you didn’t have crippling anxiety would you feel more connected in your everyday life?
Or if you weren’t betrayed and heartbroken would establishing deeper vulnerability with yourself and others come more naturally? Either way you look at it, you have just discovered the best place to start.
Integration
One may say, “I know what I want and what I don’t want and I understand what I need to do, but I just can’t seem to get myself to do it.” Speaking from my own personal experience, I have needed to spend as much time observing and learning to accept where I am as I have in implementing new ways to move into something different.
If our will to live a life we deserve outweighs what it takes to get there, action becomes possible.
I could continue to write forever on the details of a step by step action plan and am able to offer you some very useful resources & tools. However, your individual readiness to integrate into your most masterful self arrives at a time that only your life experience is capable of revealing.
The choice to simply begin is one that is only yours.
