To be vulnerable in our society is more often than not correlated with weakness and fear. In the dictionary the word Vulnerable is defined as being “easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally, or emotionally.”
Although this is true because we are all vulnerable to the dangers of the world, what if we didn’t have to be afraid? Imagine what it would feel like if we associated being vulnerable with strength and bravery instead…
Where Does Fear Come From?
Fear has always existed and it continues to evolve into new forms throughout history. This emotion has been used for survival, taking action, societal conditioning and much more…
For example, the Fight-or-Flight Response prepares the body to either fight or flee when their is a possible threat. When responding to a dangerous situation this can be a beneficial skill, but during our modern daily lives it can be quite inconvenient.
With that being said, since fear is a part of our lives how can we learn to transform this feeling into something new? By training the body and the mind to work together we can be less AFRAID of a FEAR-based response…
When our guard is up it stops us from being open and expressive because we are protecting ourselves from a possible attack. With practice, we can train ourselves to bring our pre-conditioned walls down and become more relaxed through being VULNERABLE. Likewise, we might react to an actual crisis more logically and effectively.
What Does being Vulnerable look like?
Being Vulnerable can oftentimes be perceived as looking like the victim, but really it takes true strength. A new age definition of Vulnerability could be: “To be seen in full expression and to feel safety in expressing one’s truth.”
Just to be clear, this is something that takes practice, patience and compassion for oneself. When our walls come down it can be intimidating at first if the body was previously conditioned to protect itself.
Furthermore, as a society we have adapted to find safety in having a sense of control over our lives. This can create a sense of comfort within an attachment to a specific identity, the material world or a set of rules to follow.
When we hide behind who we think we need to be we suppress ourselves from who we really are…
Vulnerability is showing up for ourselves and what we truly desire despite the pressures of the world; Vulnerability is expressing how we really feel regardless of how uncomfortable it is; Vulnerability is learning to find freedom and acceptance in the unknown; Vulnerability is being courageous enough to trust ourselves and last but not least, Vulnerability is remembering that safety comes from within.
Creating a New Response to Vulnerability
To continue, it is through awareness that we have the power to shift our perspective and change our responses. The body is an extremely intelligent machine that knows what to do, that is until it is persuaded by the mind.
A simple thought can create an emotional response that brings the body into defense mode. When the mind is under stress the body releases hormones causing our muscles to contract and our heart rate, blood pressure, and breathe increases.
Ironically in these moments our Prefrontal Cortex, responsible for decision making, is not functioning properly because the nervous system has taken over. Likewise, when we see this reaction in others we oftentimes become triggered ourselves and respond similarly. As humans we instinctively mirror one another but how can we be with the discomfort of someone else without bringing it upon ourselves?
We must first create safety within ourselves before we bring comfort to another…
How to be Vulnerable…
Just as the mind can be a distraction it can also be a very beneficial tool. If our new definition of being vulnerable includes the ability to express our true selves, then this involves PRACTICE.
Most of us have not been educated on how to be with our emotions, we typically tend to put them somewhere else. We are creatures of habit and easily adaptable, meaning that we create structure around routines.
With that being said, let’s break this down into 3 STEPS…
1. Awareness:
The first step is to become aware of the patterns that we have created in our lives to ‘protect’ ourselves. In other words, we need to enter into the unfamiliar territories of our lives. What are you continuously denying or finding excuses for? What makes you feel defensive or paranoid? What are you avoiding? Let’s get real with ourselves…
2. Acceptance:
Once we have become aware of our patterns we then need to remember compassion for ourselves…This involves trust, love and connection to the soul. To dive deeper into this wonderful topic feel free to check out my post “How to Feel More Connected in your Everyday Life.” This will give more specific examples and guidance on how to remember who you are: ENERGY & LOVE.
3. Integration:
Now it is time to integrate this new wisdom into our lives. This involves research or finding mentors to practice effective communication, setting boundaries, and just being with how we truly feel. It is finding our own balance with allowing our emotions to flow without letting them consume our reality. Be patient with yourself…the process is the reward.
One could ask, if we are setting boundaries aren’t we just protecting ourselves again? Yes we are, but this time we are doing it consciously vs. unconsciously because we are now living in awareness. We are protecting our new selves that we actively CHOSE to be, not the ones that were created from a place of fear.
When we are courageous enough to be ourselves we will find freedom
This might feel risky, but trust that it’s worth every uncomfortable moment because you are putting your desires at the forefront of your life. Over time our bodies will become familiar with this new expression. Vulnerability will be reborn and fear will turn into EXCITEMENT.
~If you want to practice vulnerability in a fun way with a partner, GO HERE for details!~
